If you ever meet someone again who uses this tactic just once DO NOT give them another chance for any reason—because the silent treatment is something that the abuser repeats over and over again.
You need to realize that, without a shadow of doubt, the silent treatment is CONTROL—a safe means for them to avoid any ’uncomfortable’ topics, issues in the relationship, or issues within himself (or herself).
The silent treatment is a method the abuser uses to ‘kill’ you for something they believe that you have done. In a sense, you have been psychologically ‘murdered’ by them, but your physical life goes on.
As with most abusers, they are in denial over their own abuse. They may use the excuses:
- I needed to have some space
- I thought you needed some space
- I was feeling depressed and didn’t want to drag you down with me
- I thought we both need a cooling off period
- I felt threatened/insulted/hurt and reacted with fear and isolation
- I just needed some time alone to think
- I didn’t want to fight
- You told me to leave you alone
- Problems from my past came up and I needed to sort them out
Of course these excuses are just one more way for the abusers to blame somebody or something else for his abuse.