Stalking Myself In The Parking Lot

????????????

As more time passed, I was still getting in my car and driving, but not quite so far.

I found safe, busy, well-lit parking lots in a nearby shopping areas or malls and I parked there with my doors locked and my trusty IPad (my new trusted life-companion) until the wee hours of the morning. Being out and about (but in my car) provided me with the refuge I needed from my empty house. As silly as it may sound, it made me feel like I was not alone (since people were coming and going), yet it provided me the protection of my vehicle to maintain my sense of separateness and cocooning. Creative problem solving at its finest if I must say so myself. I began to love my rolling environment. If I wanted to change my mood or mindset, I changed my locale: under a shade tree with the windows down and my feet sticking out the window to feel the sunshine, locked up tight in Barnes & Noble parking lot in the pouring rain … without one friend or companion beside me, I “invited” myself to participate in any number of therapeutic (quasi) milieus.

There in my car, I did some of my best thinking. However, I must admit that in the early days I had to sort through some pretty jumbled thoughts. Rattled by the sudden-ness of the trauma and shock, my earlier contemplations sounded as if they were authored by Edie Burkell.

I’m not aware of too many things
I know what I know, if you know what I mean
Philosophy is the talk on a cereal box
Religion is the smile on a dog
I’m not aware of too many things
I know what I know, if you know what I mean, d-doo yeah

Choke me in the shallow waters
Before I get too deep

What I am is what I am
Are you what you are or what?
What I am is what I am
Are you what you are or

Oh, I’m not aware of too many things
I know what I know, if you know what I mean
Philosophy is a walk on the slippery rocks
Religion is a light in the fog
I’m not aware of too many things
I know what I know, if you know what I mean, d-doo yeah

Choke me in the shallow water
Before I get too deep

What I am is what I am
Are you what you are or what?
What I am is what I am
Are you what you are or what?

What I am is what I am
Are you what you are or what?
What I am is what I am
Are you what you are or what you are and

What I am is what I am
Are you what you are or what?

Don’t let me get too deep
Don’t let me get too deep
Don’t let me get too deep
Don’t let me get too deep

Choke me in the shallow water
Before I get too deep
Choke me in the shallow water
Before I get too deep

Choke me in the shallow water
Before I get too deep
Choke me in the shallow water
Before I get too deep…

 

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