Your Ex Is Laughing At You

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Bypassing The Stage Of Anger Entirely?

People used to say to me, “When are you going to get angry?’  I just couldn’t seem to get angry even though my ex abandoned me, humiliated me, defamed me, destroyed the life I knew, blamed me for his behavior, and used every manner of manipulation and hurtful tactics that one can use on the stupid and gullible … aka ME.

Like so many other women, I kept looking for a reason for his abrupt change of behavior, thinking that this would somehow lessen the pain.


I worked overtime at the excuse factor, cranking justifications out like they were an assembly line. Excuses such as my dear Hubby had to have been influenced by evil spirits …  he was going through a mid-life crisis … he had been captivated and manipulated by a she-devil … or any other number of excuses I thought that would shift the blame and responsibility away from my ex. As if that would somehow make it not as real.

Dummy Up!

I am over all that now. If there’s one thing I want to scream from the rafters to all of you out there who may still be turning over every rock in an attempt to find an excuse for your betrayer, or for those of you who are still telegraphing vibes that you still want him/her back, it is this:

  • He/she knows EXACTLY what they are doing.
  • You are being a SCHMUCK.
  • He/She thinks you are an IDIOT!
  • He/she is EXPLOITING you and LAUGHING at you

Yes, But What About”Till Death Do Us Part” ?

This was a hard lesson for a good Christian girl steeped in “subjection” teaching to come to grips with. While I still believe in the proper interpretation of such concepts, nothing about them includes willingly and knowingly being manipulated and/or emotionally abused.

“But I Still Love Him” (or Her) … sigh

Oh, puh-leeze! Listen up here Pollyanna, if you ever have as much as a fleeting thought of reconciling with him/her, I want you to immediately take a set of brightly colored index cards and write the facts listed above on all of them. Post them in your kitchen. Post it in your car. Post it on your bathroom mirror. Post it wherever you need to post it to keep this in the forefront of your mind.

Remember, the mantra and repeat after me:

  1. He/she knows EXACTLY what they are doing.
  2. You are being a SCHMUCK.
  3. He/She thinks you are an IDIOT!
  4. He/she is EXPLOITING you and LAUGHING at you!

P.S. If you need more help, listen to the song: “Laughing” By The Guess Who. (See my Blog Post under Music category).

P.P.S. I DID finally reach the Anger stage, but it wasn’t anger at my ex. It was anger at MYSELF for being duped like this. First time, shame on me … Second time, doesn’t happen.

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