I credit Shari Scheiber M.A. (http://gettinbetter.com/addiction.html) for helping me find the above answer that puzzled me and everyone else who knew me. None of us could rationalize how such a bright accomplished woman could be so hopelessly addicted to a man who obviously did not deserve such veneration and adulation.
All addiction is caused by suppression of feelings. If we could learn how to Feel our emotions rather than fear them, ALL addictions and recovery programs would literally cease to exist.
Addiction is addiction, whether it’s to alcohol/drugs, sex, gambling, exercise, eating, work, codependency or scholastic/athletic over-achievement–and the same root causes and recovery principles always apply, no matter what your drug of choice is–even if it’s needing to be in a relationship. Addiction’s the ever-present nagging you feel, to fill the hole in your soul …….
Outgrowing any sort of addiction involves growing emotional muscles. When you first start to feel the dark/difficult sensations you had to repress/kill-off during your childhood (in order to survive) and begin trusting that they won’t annihilate you, emotional development is the inevitable outcome. Addictions are terminated when there’s no longer a need to numb-out–or run from You. In short, feeling brings about Healing.
Thank you Shari!
To read more about love addictions, please visit her website at gettinbetter.com