Punishing By Banishing You
The silent treatment (feigned apathy; cold-shoulder; silence; distance, and ignoring you) is the worst form of emotional abuse. It is a punishment used by abusers to make you feel unimportant, not valued, not cared about and completely absent from the abuser’s thoughts.
It is used as a form of non-physical punishment and control because the abuser mistakenly thinks that if they don’t physically harm you then they are not abusers. The truth is, they are far worse at doling out abuse than the physical abuser. Silent treatment is a form of banishing someone from the abuser’s existence without the benefit of closure or a good-bye or a chance at reconciliation. In a word … it’s meant to torture someone you profess to love.
No Second Chance
Should I meet someone again who uses this tactic just once he will not get another chance. Because the silent treatment is something that the abuser repeats over and over again. The silent treatment is CONTROL, and a safe means for them to avoid any ‘uncomfortable’ topics, issues in the relationship, or issues within himself (or herself).
The silent treatment is a method the abuser uses to ‘kill’ you for something you have done. In a sense, you have been psychologically ‘murdered’ by them, but your physical life goes on.
In one way though, the silent treatment is far worse than other forms of abuse, because it indirectly says to you that you are not a person, that you are just a mere object, that you are invisible because they choose to make you so, and that you are not worthy of their time. THAT is one of the most hurtful and abusive things to do in my book. It is a horrible feeling, being ignored and denied affection. You should NEVER tolerate it.
The silent treatment can be dished out whenever you do something that they don’t like, and you may never be told what that something is/was. They can become stone cold silent as fast as flipping a switch and seeing the light go out.
You then must be punished and they will not speak to you for days on end, including choosing to not even be in the same physical area with you. They may even hide away or disappear for hours, or even sleep in another area for up to a week (or more) just to avoid being in the same room with you. What childlike behavior.
If this is happening to you, you need to finally say, “screw this” and move on. Repeat after me … “No one deserves to live like this. I will NOT allow myself to be treated like this.”
Don’t Let The Door Hit You On The Way Out.