If your ex took great pains to make sure you didn’t see his/her sudden abandonment coming (or worse yet, they acted like everything was fine right up until the moment they blindsided you), you need to wake up and smell the coffee. You definitely are dealing with a predatory aggressor.
A predatory aggressor is motivated purely by desire to harm (no fear or unmet psychological needs here) and this is a HUGE concept that you need to get through your tender hurting heart QUICKLY. To be blunt, they had the pure will to victimize or dominate you. The sooner you figure this out, the better off you will be.
I know it’s hard for us to wrap our heads around the fact that someone we thought loved us, willfully desired and planned in advance to hurt us. But it’s true nonetheless. Dr. Simon delivers the bare naked truth, “It’s so hard for us to conceptualize that someone might just do us in for a purely self-serving agenda other than they’re pissed at us or they’re afraid of us.” His analogy of the cat and mouse depicts the situation in such a way that even a grieving love-struck fool can see what’s been done to them.
Sorry but sometimes you have to debride the wound in order to start the healing process.