It Is What It Is
I am still finding things out, and uncovering remnants of my ex’s deceit and betrayal. I am forever amazed at the forethought and quiet calculated planning that went into his plot to leave. A bit timid and out of character for the blustery man who was known for never taking any guff from anyone, I must say.
So how do I feel about this?
Well, based upon the anger he projected toward me after he left, the force in which he delivered the first and final blow, the surgical precision in which he dismantled our life, and how he severed all ties and communication and vanished like someone hiding in the witness protection program, I am left to conclude that he was seething with visceral hatred for me and our life together. I guess he felt that he needed to punish me/us.
That is really sad, because the reality was that I loved him more than I’d ever loved anything or anyone in my life. I grieved terribly for a while. However, now that the dust has settled, I am in a better place. I honestly have to say that I actually agree with him now because if living with me made him that miserable, he really should have left MUCH SOONER!
What Took So Long?
I’ve always had great sense of humor back and it’s better than new. So in retrospect, I should have shook my head from side to side like a Sister, snapped my fingers, placed one hand on my hip, pointed toward the sidewalk and said, “Go on with yo’ bad self!” 🙂 Then I should have followed up (in a beautiful English-butler accent) with: “May I hold the door for you, sir … so as not to have it hit you on the way out? And, oh and one more thing … be sure to give my regards to the Little Woman.” LOL