By Dr. Diane England
His Narcissistic Rage
Let me guess, everyone probably just wants to avoid his narcissistic rage. And again, you hope if you’ll only do as he wants, things will be like they were in the early days—when you held hands and made love in a romantic haze.
Again, it is time to get real. That was just an act to suck you in. Now, though, if he is walking around being his self-centered and grandiose self, engaging in emotional outbursts and verbal or physical abuse toward you or other family members that causes your self-worth to slip away daily, he is likely being the man he will continue to be.
You Pride Yourself On Sticking With It
If you are codependent, you might well be able to somehow survive the emotional, verbal , and sexual abuse. You might keep telling yourself that the sexual abuse is not sexual abuse because you actually are okay with what he asks of you—as kinky as it perhaps has become.
I suspect you might be shut down and out of touch with your feelings, however. You also might be taking pride in your ability to cope with things you shouldn’t have to cope with anyway. And if that is the case, realize you are not the first and last woman to make this discovery. Frankly, I myself have been there; I took pride in my martyrdom. But really, what’s the sense in that?
I decided I didn’t like being in a relationship with a narcissist. I also knew I never wanted to be in a relationship with one again, though I suspect I met one or two along the path on my way to recovery from codependency.