The Male Borderline

Fashion guy with sun glassesThere are very few females who haven’t encountered a borderline disordered male at some point during their lifetime, whether he’s been a fellow employee, a boss, a neighbor, or somebody from an online dating site–where there’s an exceptionally high ratio of them. Just wanna get laid??

Stay right where you are. Seeking a healthy partnership? Stop fishing in contaminated ponds, and commit to the hard inner work it takes to heal and grow, so you can finally accept the love you need.

Narcissists are not always borderline disordered (they lack psychotic traits), but Borderlines are always narcissistic, as each lacks capacity for empathy. Can these issues be cured? Yes, but it requires highly specialized care, and tenacious commitment by the client/patient to do some very courageous and difficult recovery work.

Borderline Personality Disorder in men is harder to recognize than in women, because their seductions are usually emotional, rather than sexual. The Male Borderline may appear ‘normal’ in contrast to other men, who seem so afraid of closeness, they’re back-peddling before your second date! For simplicity’s sake, this piece names the borderline disordered male, Casanova. Seducing women feeds his narcissism, and fills his core emptiness–it’s his addiction. Since he can’t form solid/healthy attachments, he takes hostages. Make sure you don’t become his next prisoner.

Male BPD traits include; impulsivity, passive aggression, lying, stalking, lack of empathy, poor self-worth, drug/alcohol abuse, extramarital affairs, rageful outbursts, depression/suicidal ideation, inability to hold difficult emotions or self-soothe, self-harming behaviors (or accident prone), cognitive distortion and projections, splitting (love you/hate you), physical volatility or violence, rebound relationships, anxiety or OCD issues, self-sabotage in personal and professional realms, an incapacity to want you unless they can’t have you, extreme jealousy, narcissism/grandiosity, selective memory/recall, black or white thinking, verbal exhibitionism, codependency (and other addictions), control issues, eating disorders, emotional blackmail, childhood molestation, dissociation or “black-outs,” perfectionism/rigidity, and drawn to inaccessible women or long-distance romances.

A colleague who works almost exclusively with male borderlines, has told me that they generally present as commitment-phobes and sex addicts, which seems logical–for at the very core of borderline pathology, is an attachment issue that starts in infancy, with Mother. This is addressed more fully below, in another of my articles “THE WIZARD OF ODDS.”

Borderline Personality Disorder in men is harder to recognize than in women, because their seductions are usually emotional, rather than sexual. The Male Borderline may appear ‘normal’ in contrast to other men, who seem so afraid of closeness, they’re back-peddling before your second date! For simplicity’s sake, this piece names the borderline disordered male, Casanova. Seducing women feeds his narcissism, and fills his core emptiness–it’s his addiction. Since he can’t form solid/healthy attachments, he takes hostages.

Make sure you don’t become his next prisoner.

Excerpted from 

THE MALE BORDERLINE
Surviving the Crash after your Crush

http://www.sharischreiber.com/casanova.html

By Shari Schreiber, M.A.
http://www.GettinBetter.com

One comment on “The Male Borderline

  1. Incredible article! It’s like a light switch came on for me. It’s just unfortunate that I attract them, or visa versa.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s