The Initial Kick In The Gut

kick in gut

The World Is No Longer A Safe Place

Let me to give you a glimpse into what it’s like to learn that the person you love and trust has betrayed you: The world suddenly seems extraordinarily unsafe. You wonder, if you could be so wrong about your husband/wife, what other things are you wrong about?

Can your friends be trusted? Can your parents be trusted?  Can anyone be trusted?  Can you even trust yourself?

You Can’t Sleep

You can’t sleep without images flooding your brain of your ex and the Other Woman/Other Man. You imagine their sex is like the steamiest, most sexy movie ever. You imagine the other person as being more beautiful, more exciting, more interesting – no matter than reality (and often your departed spouse) reveal otherwise.

You feel invisible, useless, of no value. You might need to take anti-depressants. You might consider suicide. Betrayal takes you to the lowest point of your life.

You feel a rage you never knew you were capable of. You could kill him. And her. With your bare hands. If only you had the energy to get out of bed.

You can’t eat. You feel constantly sick to your stomach. Indeed, many betrayed spouses are physically sick when they find out.

You can’t think about anything BUT your spouse’s affair. Your children fade into the background. Your work suffers. You take no pleasure in anything and wonder if you’ll ever feel joy again.

You have no idea whether to stay or go. You have no idea whether what you’re being told about the affair is the whole truth, partial truth, or simply more lies based on what he/she thinks they can get away with.

You wonder what happened to the man/woman who promised to cherish you above all others, ’til death do you part’. Was he/she lying then, too? Has your entire married life been a waste?

This is only the beginning.

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